![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Since June 1st 2012 on livejournal...
Oct. 22nd, 2022 09:03 amFirst some good things.
Finally accepted I am trans in early 2022. Also accepted I needed to do something about it. And the past 9+ weeks on hormones has been a "WTF didn't you fight for this 30+ years ago?" Being happy is WEIRD. Losing anxiety I didn't realize I had is WEIRD. And both are wonderful!. Work and family and friends are supportive.
Finally diagnosed as autistic. And that's simplified dealing with piles of "This is fucky."
Started meeting with some of the local kinksters regularly.
My wife of nearly 16 years asked for a divorce just after I turned 50 this year. And life's been better since we separated.
My youngest got married. My eldest got engaged. Both finished college. Both employed.
And I'm working a job at a company whose product I find acceptable... and I like and they like and WANT me there!
Ran a few Army Ten Milers... Started getting close to a black belt in taekwondo... bicycled the most I ever had.
The meh. It's not a simple binary mtf trans. "Non-binary" "gender fluid" are the labels tossed around. I know my mind hits several places where the pronoun 'she' applies. I spend most of my time there. My mind goes several places where both masculine and feminine are strong and the pronoun 'they' applies. That's been increasing since I started estrogen. I go into an agender place where 'they' also applies. It sneaks up on me. And I've been spending more time there since I started estrogen. Then there is the classic 'he' space where I go with less frequency.
The suck is I will feel out of sync with my body some of the time for the rest of my life.
I'd just gotten a handle on what causes my autistic sensory overloads... then estrogen shifted everything.
The bad... to get it out of my system. My Dad had two massive strokes. The first was a clot and the second was a bleeder. And he never recovered and it led to multiple rounds of lung infection from food aspiration which finally killed him.
Lost two more cats and two dogs. Had geese stolen.
Finally accepted I am trans in early 2022. Also accepted I needed to do something about it. And the past 9+ weeks on hormones has been a "WTF didn't you fight for this 30+ years ago?" Being happy is WEIRD. Losing anxiety I didn't realize I had is WEIRD. And both are wonderful!. Work and family and friends are supportive.
Finally diagnosed as autistic. And that's simplified dealing with piles of "This is fucky."
Started meeting with some of the local kinksters regularly.
My wife of nearly 16 years asked for a divorce just after I turned 50 this year. And life's been better since we separated.
My youngest got married. My eldest got engaged. Both finished college. Both employed.
And I'm working a job at a company whose product I find acceptable... and I like and they like and WANT me there!
Ran a few Army Ten Milers... Started getting close to a black belt in taekwondo... bicycled the most I ever had.
The meh. It's not a simple binary mtf trans. "Non-binary" "gender fluid" are the labels tossed around. I know my mind hits several places where the pronoun 'she' applies. I spend most of my time there. My mind goes several places where both masculine and feminine are strong and the pronoun 'they' applies. That's been increasing since I started estrogen. I go into an agender place where 'they' also applies. It sneaks up on me. And I've been spending more time there since I started estrogen. Then there is the classic 'he' space where I go with less frequency.
The suck is I will feel out of sync with my body some of the time for the rest of my life.
I'd just gotten a handle on what causes my autistic sensory overloads... then estrogen shifted everything.
The bad... to get it out of my system. My Dad had two massive strokes. The first was a clot and the second was a bleeder. And he never recovered and it led to multiple rounds of lung infection from food aspiration which finally killed him.
Lost two more cats and two dogs. Had geese stolen.
